i'm not good enough,i know

I'm forgetful,I know.I'm careless,I know.But that doesn't mean I will forget you or I'd care less about you.I care about you more than anyone else does.When you I looked at your message asking me to think what's your place in my heart,I was stunned.I didn't know what to reply.First?Second?Third?Fourth?Fifth?How could you ask me such question?Why couldn't you feel that I have always and always put you in the first place?I thought you'd know it,I thought you'd feel it,but the way you asked me, told me that you have no faith in me.How sad is that to know that!I know I don't always send you sweet messages,but that doesn't mean I don't like you.I know we seldom spend time together,but that's because I thought you want to accompany ah B,so I give you your own time and space so that you can play with him.Who doesn't want to spend time with her boyfriend?Who doesn't want to see boyfriend everyday?But whenever I see you tired and look not so in the mood,I dare not to interrupt you.I just want you to rest more and be more energetic,as in more bersemangat.I know when you fell sick that time,I didn't take good care of you.I'm not a good girlfriend,I'm trying to change,but please,don't ask me such question,what is your place in my heart,it really hurts me.It makes me feel so emo,I couldn't stay focused.Until now,only I realize that you have no trust in me.Hmm,how could I gain your trust?I know I'm slow,I'm trying to change gear,but i don't know how.=( =( =(

us=malang

haish,just when i thought shen's wound is getting better and better,i have this naive thought that yeay,we can live happily as we did last time,but all of a sudden, something else happens on someone else.why is it continuously occurring to us?the three of us.ish,we went to temple to baibai and ask the buddha bobi bobi us already,but why is it still happening to us?i'm not complaining or blaming anyone else,it just makes me feel bad though.seems like all the bad things keep coming,and what about the good ones?when?where?how?i somehow have a very strong feeling that something bad will happen to me no sooner or later.the first victim was shen,scalded by hot oil,then now it's xiang xiang's turn,whom is a yet-to-be-diagnosed-but-with-high-possibility-infected by chicken pox girl.next,should be me.sounds so dead,right?no one could predict what would happen to me,even i myself couldn't foretell it.i hope it is just a minor incident,maybe get stung by a mosquito?haha,i like to tell a porky to myself.all i could do now is to take good care of those two girls in my house and,more and most importantly,take good care of my own.i don't want anything bad happens to me.really don't.i mean who wants?duhh,lame question!buddha buddha,guan yin ma guan yin ma,please bobi bobi the three of us safe and sound.let us lead a peaceful and happy life here.thank you,amitabha.

jjajiangmien

ishh,since i've promised ng siok shen not to complain and nag in front of her,so i have to shout out my dissatisfaction here.why on earth is a korean restaurant doesn't sell jjajiangmian?it's the most famous and common food in korea.if you,the korea restaurant doesn't sell,then who else does?i've travelled all the way from my home to the city just to find you,but then you made me disappointed,very.whenever i think of food,i think of you,jjajiangmien.the dark soy sauce mixed with the noodles.and i guess there's some minced pork or peanuts on it.and and and the highlight is the way you slurp up the noodles,that's what i want to feel.arghh,i feel my stomach is now growling,starving even though just now i ate until i felt like my belly's gonna to explode.arrrggghhhh,my jjajiangmien,when and where could i find you?i saw jjajiangmien in a korean grocery shop,was excited at first,but in the end i ended up indecisive and i thought for quite a sometime,i didn't buy it though as the noodle is the ramen type,which is the main reason that i didn't grab it off the shelf.all i want is the noodles type noodles,not the ramen type noodles,get what i mean?haha,i admit i'm slightly too picky,well,maybe a little bit more than slightly.hahaha.never mind,i won't give up looking for jjajiangmien,once i've found you,you'd be found digested in koo's stomach,wakaka and then comes out in the toilet bowl.eeewww,why am i suddenly sound so "er"?lol.haishh,jjajiangmien jjajiangmien,you please bobi bobi me so that i could find you earlier.thanks a lot.another is that today i finally can see my onggaru.whee,so happy =)glad that he's okay but only feeling tired.he looks not bad,but just that his voice has changed a bit,i shall say now that he's having a hoarse voice.hahah,see,i'm trying to put all the new words here.whenever he's sick,i feel sick as well.i don't know why is onggaru affecting me so much?or is it too much?is it a good or bad thing?i don't know,and i don't even bother to know.all i know is if he's okay and happy,then i'd be happy as well,like a happy little vegemite,jumping around,talk non-stop.haha,see,he has really poisoned my mind,he has controlled all my thoughts,wait,i shall delete off this virus slowly slowly so that i won't be hacked too seriously.wahahaha.well,after seeing him today really made me feel so relieved.tomorrow i wouldn't have the time to see him,so i most probably have to wait till wednesday as i'm 100% sure that tuesday he'd chuck a sickie as usual.to be more precise,he has been chucking for don't know how many sickies since 1st semester.haha,i couldn't count,as it is uncountable,lol.anyway,just hope that he can get well soon,and he can go lecture as usual.i wanna see you,haha,i like to see you.bye bye onggaru.good night.

i miss onggaru

onggaru onggaru onggaru,i hope you'll get well soon.i don't know what can i do to make you feel better.you complain of being tired all day long,that's why i try not to text you or call you while you're sleeping.but i actually miss you a lot.very much.too much.i want to see you but i'm afraid i will disturb you.when can i see you again? i'm sure tomorrow i wouldn't have the time to see you as i have to clean my house.monday both of us have placement and therefore i can't see you again.tuesday you as usual will skip the one hour lecture.wednesday.all i hope is to see you on wednesday.aikss,when would wednesday arrive?i start counting the days,hours,minutes,seconds.it's slow.the tick-tocks of the clock make me impatient.i wanna to be in your arms again.i wanna hold you tight.i wanna feel you in my arms again.i want to have you so much.but i don't know how to tell you and let you know how i feel.hmmmphh,i miss you.i wanna hear your voice for once.receive your text/messages.on skype and chat with you.but why do you seem so far even though you're so near to me?haish,i want you so so so much.i love you.

kookoovia/koogarru

aikss,i really have to admit that i'm really that hangat-hangat tahi ayam type of person.i feel extremely lazy to update my blog frequently,unlike all my other friends who have been so active in posting and updating and beautifying their blogs.compared to theirs,my blog appears to be the simplest,or i shall say,the paling teruk one.haha,tak apa la,blog ini hanya for few people to read,so i suppose they don't mind either.and if whoever who reads my blog and complains,i shall delete you off from my list.kahkahkah,kidding kiiding only yea,my dear mary anne,ng siok shen and jj!!lol,back to the topic,i hope i can switch and become kookoovia/koogarru.u know why?!because kookoovia doesn't have to go uni on fridays from 8am to 5pm!!arghhh,the hectic schedule on fridays can really WIPE ME OFF!!hahaha!!kookoovia ar kookoovia,when can we switch?u tell me,i'm ready to switch!more than ready,kekeke!becoming you is really not a bad idea,in fact,i should say it's more than great to become you.you are cute and that's why people sayang you alot.even if you're lazy and always absent,people won't scold,parents won't nag at you.even if you fail in your exams,and yet you wouldn't receive any warning letter from your scholar.wahh,how i wish i were you,kookoovia.though your hand was a bit handicapped after few weeks you were born,you still look so perfect to me!haiya,the more i think about you,the more i want to become you.and and and the most important point here is that,if i were you,i can spend more time with the owner,onggarru.wahahaha,that's my main purpose of becoming you!!how i miss my onggaru.onggaru,you must get well soon.i don't know what else i can do to make you feel better.i walked all the way to your house after one tiring day just to get you the medicine,but in the end i found out that you've already got the medicine.damn stupid me!really wasted my ATP,as you always say.why am i always failed to be a good gf?i've been wondering this why long time ago,and the answer to my question is yet to be found out.please define good.kookoovia,you have a mission now,please help me find out the answer!wahahaha!!but but but,to my onggaru,you must wait for me,i'm pretty sure one fine day i would become a perfect one,it just the time that matters.heehee=)i love you,onggaru,both the person and the pencil case=)